


superposition

by oddsoul



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, do people still read these or did i miss the reylo boat?, i take some artistic liberties at the end because i am weak, one smutty chapter only sry, rey is a better person than me bc i would have said yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddsoul/pseuds/oddsoul
Summary: What began as a comfort – having another presence with her always, even in her loneliest moments back on Jakku – is now a threat. Kylo Ren is always teasing the entrance to her mind, threatening to break through and take advantage of whatever he found.Rey closes her eyes and tries to push him away from the door, despite every ounce of the Force begging her to let him in.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: lmao I am colour blind... apparently Luke's lightsaber is green? I literally thought it was blue. Sorry everyone!
> 
> Guess who watched all 9 Star Wars in one weekend? Guess who's definitely not okay with how it ended? 
> 
> (it's me, I watched all 9 Star Wars in one weekend. I am definitely not okay with how it ended.)
> 
> Always welcoming corrections and criticism. Three days, 39 pages, and 16,316 words later, this is what I have. Not my finest, but I needed this, okay? Catharsis and all that.

Rey remembers a time before she understood the connection shared with her adversary, before she had to exhaust herself just to keep the barriers up. She remembers how it felt to share those parts of her without knowing what she was even doing, and, in turn, seeing parts of a mind that was not her own. Then, the connection was welcomed despite its turbulence. It was not always unpleasant; the emotions that occasionally filtered through were mostly happy, exuding love and trust. Rey clung to those feelings whenever they managed to penetrate the walls of her mind, settling themselves into the corners that held nothing but loneliness and abandonment. She can remember taking solace in those moments, grateful for any opportunity to experience being loved, even if it was, unbeknownst to her, was through someone else.

If she thinks hard enough, there are specific memories that she now knows are symbols of her first experiences with the Force: vibrations beneath her feet despite Jukka’s sandy terrain, signalling the arrival of unwanted foes; a warmth that settled in the spaces between her heart and her gut, keeping the desert’s frigid nights at bay; the waves of calm and _life_ she would feel only at the various oases she would be lucky to stumble upon. If she delves even further than that into her mind, she can remember the first waves of the Force permeating through the unknown bond, memories she now knows were not even her own. There were the sensations in her hands, as if there was an unseen energy extending outwards from them. Sometimes, she would dream of planets much greener than Jakku, or with deep red valleys that were warm to the touch but made her gut feel frozen.

The connection grew stronger still without her knowing what it was, and it didn’t take long into her adolescence before the visions started. Then, she had thought as though she was _surely_ losing her mind, plagued with visions of places that did not match her surroundings. The worst of them were the visions of the other side of the connection. He would appear to her, too far to touch but close enough that she, eventually, was able to make out his features: his far too-large ears, a mouth that turned further into a frown the older he appeared, hair that was unruly and begrudged. She would look up and he would be there, his eyes often already on her and a feeling in her that would pull her to wherever he could be seen. The first time, she had tried to reach him, pulled through crowds of scavengers and toward his dark figure. People would pass in front of her eyes, closing him off from her view, and then he would be gone. Eventually, her attempts waned as she realized that he was for her and her only. It was her inevitable acceptance of her insanity that first brought comfort to their connection: he would appear, either amongst her peers or upon the dunes of the desert. They would both stop what they were doing and do nothing else but _look,_ until one of them were pulled from their shared gaze and once more, he would leave her.

Sometimes, the connection manifested in more than just vague feelings, out-of-body sensations, or distant surveys. Thoughts that were not her own, of _frustration_ and _anger_ and _disappointment_ would filter through, and Rey could feel the anxiety winding her tighter and tighter. Other times, when she would long for family or cry after another fruitless scavenge, she would feel as if she was being enveloped, and the intruding thoughts would turn from sour ones to those that were much sweeter than her own. Rey learned if she closed her eyes and kept her breathing calm, she could almost feel large, warm hands holding her close and wiping tears from her cheeks.

Now, though, Rey’s memories of the connection _before_ leave a sick feeling in her gut. The sick feeling, she knows, is because of her knowledge of both Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. She knows that those feelings of _love_ and _belonging_ belonged to Ben Solo, and she feels sick with grief knowing that if she had only been aware of him then, he may never have turned to Kylo Ren. She also knows that their counterparts, the _frustration_ and _anger_ belonged to Ren, or at least helped shape him, and she feels ill knowing that he was there, too, plaguing her with the Dark Side before she even knew that there was a Force.

What began as a comfort – having another presence with her always, even in her loneliest moments back on Jakku – is now a threat. Kylo Ren is always teasing the entrance to her mind, threatening to break through and take advantage of whatever he found.

Rey closes her eyes and tries to push him away from the door, despite every ounce of the Force begging her to let him in.

*

_“You’re not alone.”_

_“Neither are you.”_


	2. Chapter 2

Takodana, even after the First Order’s brutal crusade months earlier, is still one of the most beautiful places Rey has ever seen. Leia had sent her and Finn, among others, back to the forest planet to again search for items of importance. The castle was nothing but rubble, but Rey still felt the lingering effects Luke’s lightsaber had created in the Force. There are cracks in the earth, signs of the violence of the Force that had ripped through the planet. All of it makes her heart hurt and her eyes burn with unshed tears.

Rey ventures behind the ruins as other sort through the fallen stones of the castle, her feet stopping at the edge of the forest. Her fingers run across the stones, trying her best to feel the energy flowing through them to the earth beneath her feet. The Force has both pulled her to that spot then kept her locked to it, and she can’t ignore why. Here, more than anywhere else in the galaxy, Rey feels the darkness of Kylo Ren, and remembers the way the Force had overwhelmed her at their chance meeting.

“Feels like forever ago, doesn’t it?”

The voice shouldn’t startle her; she should have _felt_ him there, should have _known_ that her pain would call to him. She hates the way that her mind sometimes pulls for him – not Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren – despite her best efforts. His appearance is a sign of weakness to her. She turns to look at him, his shrouded figure a stark contrast against the green of the trees and the light of the sun. She hears the hiss of his helmet releasing from its clasps, and a feeling of dread and discontent fills her stomach. Their eyes lock and Rey feels a sharp pang of hatred, unaware if it’s coming from him or her. “Not long enough.”

Kylo Ren advances towards her, and Rey’s hand immediately goes to her hip where the blue-beamed lightsaber sits. Her movement causes him to stop his approach, a small smile on his face. They stand like that, not quite ten yards apart, and stare. They both remain motionless, but Rey can feel the press of Kylo’s dark energy pressing against her mind. She can’t help the wince that crosses her face as it pushes, doing her best to resist, and apparently that amuses her counterpart.

“You feel it too, then,” he says, taking another step. Rey doesn’t move her hand from its place on her weapon. “That _anger,_ the _pain._ Let it wash over you. Look at me, Rey. Feel what the Dark Side could be for you.”

She hates that he’s right, that the Dark Side truly _does_ appeal to her in that moment. The sinking in her gut continues until she feels it ground itself within her, becoming a source of power. Rey can feel the thrumming of the Darkness, the way it makes her fingers tingle with lightning she knows it would conjure in her. Kylo continues walking towards her throughout it all, his smile not slipping from his face, until he’s right in front of her. Rey is used to being this close to Ben Solo, used to feeling the warmth that he emanated, but standing with Kylo Ren is something else. It pulls her breath from her while pushing power into her.

Rey closes her eyes and turns her head to the side, pushing his mind away from hers. “I don’t want it.”

“Liar.”

The accusation causes her to move, her hand pulling the lightsaber from its holster on her hip. She ignites it and swings, but Kylo Ren is too fast, too aware of her intentions. He raises his own, blocking her blow and pushing the beam to the side. Rey snarls and backs up, trying again and again to swing at him through their connection. Kylo blocks every one of them with every step forward he takes, their sabers sparking as he matches her movements and maintains their proximity. His grin slips then recovers as he parries again and again. She leaps back, saber at the ready, before lunging forward, trying to thrust the beam forward. His eyes widen but still he defends against her attack, letting out a frustrated growl as he deflects then knocks her sabre from her hand.

“Again!” he barks, lowering his weapon. Rey stares at him, sweat beading across her brow, and Kylo nods toward the weapon. “Pick it up. Try again, Rey.”

She looks between the lightsaber and Kylo once, twice, before scrambling towards it on her hands and knees. It ignites almost as soon as she touches it, and it’s just in time: Kylo Ren is hovering over her, his broad frame blocking the sun from her eyes, and his saber is coming down at her. She raises her weapon and reaches out with her other hand, using the Force to push him back. It doesn’t work as well as she hopes – Kylo takes a large step back to avoid stumbling against its power – but it gives her enough time to get back up to her feet.

“Play nice, little Padawan,” he warns, voice low as he regains his footing. “You didn’t _want_ to feel the Force. You wanted to strike at me. So, strike. Again.”

Rey cries out and it’s her turn to advance towards him. Her violent blows seem to be nothing to the Sith apprentice in front of her, and she feels a pang of anger at the inequality of it all: Kylo has a decade on her in age, two in training. “You’re a _coward_ ,” she screams at him, striking again and again. Each blow is blocked with seemingly little effort. “You _know_ this fight isn’t fair.”

Kylo snarls and raises his hand, catching her in a Force hold in her moment of weakness. She struggles against his restraints and Kylo moves towards her until they’re toe to toe. Rey can’t help the flutter of fear that blooms in her stomach as he looks down at her, the only sign of weakness being the scar across his eyes. _The one she had given him._

“You’re _right,_ ” he hisses, breath hitting her face. “So, don’t argue when I try to train you so that it _is._ ”

Rey falls as Kylo Ren releases her, knees buckling and causing her to drop. Her sabre falls to the side as she braces her hands in front of her. Chest heaving, she catches the breath that had been squeezed from her. After a moment, she raises her head, expecting to see the First Order lackey standing in front of her. Instead, the space he previously occupied is empty, and in the distance, she can see Finn, his blaster in his hand. The look on his face is a mix of fear and concern, and Rey, again, feels pain blossom. This time, Kylo Ren does not appear.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite everything else – the war crimes, Han’s murder, the endless flow of Dark energy flowing between them – the connection’s strongest moments become less of something to be feared and more like how they were in childhood, comforting. Those moments are the ones when he appears to her just as he always had, except now she knew the man – _men,_ since she refuses to consider Ben Solo and Kylo Ren to be synonymous – behind the visions. He appears to her in his moments of fierce anger, eyes screwed shut and his lightsaber in his hands, ignited and ready to wreak havoc on his surroundings. Their connection takes the wind out of both of them, and as quick as he appeared, his eyes open and bore into her own, the anger that flowed outward from him dissipating quickly as the vision of him falters and stops. She appears to him in her lows, feeling helpless and tired and insufficient, and his gaze and soft words are always enough to pull her out of it, separating them again.

Master Luke tells her the connection is not to be trusted; that the man on the other of end of it is _not to be trusted._ It hurts to hear, and Rey mostly doesn’t listen, allowing the probes of her mind in just enough to feel if it’s Kylo or Ben trying to push in. It’s impossible to confuse them, as Ben brings warmth and comfort and Kylo brings anxiety and anguish. She’s learned enough of the force to be able to push Kylo back, but in the quiet of her hut on Ahch-To, she allows Ben in. She feels him as if he truly was opposite her, huddled over the same fire as she. He speaks to her while holding her gaze, always, dark eyes softening as she listens to him. In their quiet moments, which persist even after she leaves the solitary island, neither of them dares to speak of war. No plans are shared, but they speak of the Force and Rey, resolve crumbling, always ends up begging for him to return to the Light. The connection, their stolen, forbidden moments end in a flare of anger and a closed door between their minds.

In the quiet of night, Rey squeezes her eyes shut and tries to push the images of the war from her mind: Takodana, Crait, _Supremacy_. It works, briefly, until the images rush back through no Force of her own. As the images return, the hairs on her arms prickle and the air around her grows heavy and cold. These images are of her own side, though, and Rey opens her eyes to see a broad figure standing on the other end of her quarters.

“It’s late,” she sighs, letting her eyes flutter closed in resignation. She hears a sound of acknowledgement and feels him move soundlessly across the room until he’s at the other side of her bed. The man – Ben – sits and Rey doesn’t argue, opening her eyes and turning on her side to look at him. His robes are gone, as is his leather tunic and black boots. Like this, dressed in nothing but his trousers and a blanket pulled over his shoulders, he looks so much like Han it hurts. She tries to push the thought away before he catches it, but the pained look on his face and the side glance he tosses her is sign enough that she had failed.

He lets out a soft breath, sinking deeper next to her. They had, in earlier connections, arranged their respective furniture in such a way that their surroundings, albeit not physically the same, mirrored each other. She knew that where she saw him on her bed, he was in his own. “Don’t feel bad,” he says, looking straight ahead. His bottom lip quivers and his frown, usually fueled by anger, looks more like a guilty pout. “It was ruthless. _I_ was ruthless.”

Rey sits up, keeping her blankets tight to her chest as she tries to preserve some modesty. “You were,” she agrees, voice soft. “You don’t have to be.”

Normally, she waits before trying to dissuade him from the Dark side, but it’s late and she’s tired and hurting. She has no patience to console the man beside him, as although like this, with her, he is Ben Solo, everywhere else he remains Kylo Ren. Rey closes her eyes again and expects to hear something from him, a harsh remark about his disdain for the Jedi. The response never comes, though, and the silence prompts her to open her eyes and check to see if he’s left without a word. He hasn’t, of course, but instead of arguing, Ben nods. “I know,” he says, voice soft.

Rey doesn’t know what to say to that, so she elects to say nothing at all. With Ben in her mind, sharing the space so well that he’s able to be with her, she feels no pressure to mince words or sugar-coat her feelings. In these rare moments, neither of them tries to fill silences with empty words.

His sadness and pain flow through their bond at full scale, and Rey clenches her jaw to keep the tears from springing to her eyes. There’s a sinking feeling in her gut that’s fueled by the thoughts of the hundreds of thousands of people killed by the First Order. Normally, Rey is overwhelmed with Kylo’s anger, or Ben’s doubts. The feeling of intense despair that is shared between them is new, and if Rey didn’t know better, she would have sooner thought that the feeling was her own.

He stays, sitting wordlessly beside her long enough that she sinks back into her bed, head on the pillow. Despite the exhaustion she and Ben both feel, neither one of them close their eyes for sleep, electing instead to savour the quiet shared between them. Ben keeps his eyes forward, and Rey wonders what’s on the other side of the room that’s keeping his attention. At that thought, Ben looks down toward her, a small sliver of a smile on his face. “Look closer,” he says, barely above a whisper. While the Force is strong with both of them, Ben has a much better grasp on it, and Rey, despite herself, is always eager to heed his guidance in their stolen moments.

Rey takes a breath and tries to focus on Ben’s mind but is unable to breach his defences like he’s able to with hers. The frustration that flows between them is hers, elicited by her inability, and it causes Ben’s smile to fade.

“Don’t overthink it.” He slides further into the beds – both his and hers – and settles on his side to face her. The intimacy of the moment does not go unnoticed by Rey, her cheeks flushing under his gaze, but if Ben feels anything, his face remains stoic to keep it from her. “Here,” he says, and suddenly Rey feels him reaching toward her, with both his hand and with the Force between them. She closes her eyes and, ignoring all of Master Luke’s previous warnings, she opens her mind to her counterpart just as he does with his own.

Rey feels his fingertips on his skin and suddenly, she’s looking at her own self in a different bed. The air is colder and feels metallic, the Force reverberating through the metal walls as if it’s trying to escape. Rey takes a sharp breath as she sees Kylo Ren’s world through Ben’s eyes. He looks around the room for her, sights finally settling on the item that had held his attention for so long. It’s a dark leather jacket, and if Rey hadn’t seen the same one on Han so many times, she may not have known its significance. She feels the pain it causes him and pulls him back along the connection to her.

Her eyes open and she’s back in her own room, Ben still across from her. His eyes turn away from the jacket she now knows is tossed over the back of a chair and back towards her. Clenching her jaw, Rey returns the gaze without wavering. “It doesn’t have to hurt like that,” she says, and now it’s her turn to reach out to him. She intends only to touch his skin herself, anxious to feel the heat of his body and the magnetism of the Force. Instead, her reciprocated touch opens another floodgate between them, the first that has been illuminated instead of shrouded in darkness. Sensing the Light, Rey takes advantage of the opportunity and floods their connection with her own positive memories of Han Solo, trying to push the love he had shown her onto his son.

It’s Ben’s turn to tear up, mouth pulling into a line and eyes shutting tightly. Despite the best of intentions, she can tell immediately that her attempt at comforting him has caused the opposite effect. She pulls her mind back, quieting their connection. It stays like that for minutes, Rey watching Ben for any sign of emotion at all. His stoicism doesn’t falter, but Rey feels the gentle push of their connection. Ben’s fingers move from her arm to her jaw, settling between it and the pillow as if meant to cradle it.

“Rey,” he murmurs, and she pulls her hand back just enough that she can rest it on the inside of his wrist. She opens the connection and hears him sigh, his mind finding empty spaces to settle in within her own. It takes a minute, but Rey can feel him trying to simultaneously explore its depths and adjust to its warmth, and soon their connection hushes again as his consciousness slots perfectly within her own.

“This,” she sighs out, nuzzling into the warmth of his giant palm, “Think of this when you think of the Light. Think of _me._ ”

She feels a soft vibration between them, and Rey feels the first sense of calm coming from Ben since their shared moment in Ahch-To. It reminds her of the glimpses of his life had had shared over a decade ago, when their connection reverberated with feelings of love from his childhood. The Force hums, tapering off until Rey can no longer feel him beside her. His sadness is gone, apparently satiated by Rey’s touch, the connection no longer having enough power to last. She opens her eyes and again she’s alone, the persistent feeling of his palm against her cheek the only indication that he had been there with her at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Unlike Ben Solo, who appears to her when he feels an undisclosed _need,_ Kylo’s attempts to penetrate Rey’s mind are deliberate. He knows that she can sense the difference between the two; despite its inconvenience to his goal, Kylo Ren is impressed by the way she’s often able to keep him at bay. Often is not always, and even though he appreciates her resistance, his successes are much more satisfying.

The door of his ship opens as he lands on Nentan, pleased to be alone on a planet so strong with the Force. Kylo walks out onto the empty, barren field and closes his eyes, searching for Rey’s mind. He finds it, of course – their connection makes it impossible to prevent one from at least reaching out – and feels her immediate resistance. A small smile grows on his lips, sensing frustration and rage along with Rey’s mind’s push-back. He revels in it. So rarely does he get to benefit from the girl’s negativity, always either closed off to him or overpowered by her inherent hopefulness. Now, though, he knows that she’s weak and angry, and Kylo Ren never wastes an opportunity. He raises his hand, struggling to take harness on her defenses so that he can pull them down. Somehow, at some point, his power of the Force eclipses hers and he pulls, crippling her resistance and opening her mind to him.

“ _Monster_ ,” he hears, prompting him to open his eyes. She’s there with him, involuntarily or not, and Kylo maintains his hold on her with little effort.

His eyes trail across her body and is immediately overwhelmed with disgust – not his own, but Rey’s. Snapping his eyes back to hers, he grins and moves forward, pleased when she doesn’t try to move away. “You’re alone, Rey,” he says, closing his eyes. His mind pushes into hers again, pulling every sensation he can from her side of the bond. The attempt is successful, and her energy is folded into his, allowing him to exist within her. He feels nothing but her and the emptiness that surrounds her.

Suddenly, her mind pushes back, and he loses her sensations. He opens his eyes and glowers at her, his smile long-gone and hers growing. She’s leaned forward, hands out as she pushes. He finds himself having to do the same. “So are you, Kylo Ren.”

“Where in the galaxy are you, Rey?” he demands, his frustration mounting at her silence, “Answer me!”

His heart is racing, his sudden and uncontrolled mood swing making the previously easy grasp on her mind much more difficult. Her efforts are doubled, keeping him on the outer reaches of her mind, but still she’s unable to push him all the way out. The revelation pleases him, reminds him that like this, as Kylo Ren, he is stronger than the Jedi Padawan; stronger than the Light Side. His Darkness still eclipses her Light.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?”

Both Rey and Kylo pull back slightly, each of them fatiguing quicker than they anticipated. They relent equally, an odd sign of trust that Kylo does not ignore, and their energies even out enough for both of them to regain solid footing. “Why would I leave you alone, Rey? Why would you think that I wouldn’t take this…” he hesitates, “… this connection, and _use it_? I’m trying to change the galaxy, make it better, and you, _you_ are my path.”

Kylo senses something in Rey shift. It’s her defenses crumbling, just a brick or two further, but he doesn’t push further. She’s thinking about what he’s said, analyzing every word in her attempt to understand him. Her eyes flicker across his face, her teeth digging so forcefully into her bottom lip that Kylo sees blood beading around them. Even now, he realizes, as he angers her and threatens her Force through their bond, Rey is searching for Ben Solo. Perhaps the fact that his control over her is so strong that he’s disillusioned her should flatter him, but instead it causes his anger to flare again.

“Stop that,” he snaps, jaw clenching. He presses forward with the Force in a warning. “Ben Solo isn’t here. I’ve killed him.”

Rey frowns and Kylo sees tears welling in her eyes. “Liar,” she whispers, “both to me and to yourself. You _wish_ you had killed Ben Solo when you killed Han Solo, but you didn’t.”

 _Han._ Kylo Ren feels his anger building into a rage and does everything he can to use it in his fight against Rey. He’d be grateful to her if he wasn’t so entirely angry with her; she was fueling his power without realizing, furthering his strength as he pushes into her mind. He steps forward until he can feel her body against his, the half-foot difference in height even more apparent than usual in their proximity. “What do you know? You are _nobody. Nothing._ ”

“I am your _path,_ Kylo Ren. Didn’t you just say that? I am not _nothing_. To you, I am _everything._ ”

Her words catch him off-guard just long enough that she is able to push her palms against his chest, the power of her Force surprising him and knocking him backwards. The fall is hard, and Kylo knows immediately that his skin will splotch in the dark, ugly colours of bruises. His head flies back with the strength of her push, knocking against the ground behind him. The hit disorients him, battering the Force out of him briefly. Kylo sits up, his weight resting on his elbows, as vision doubles. Rey – two of her – is still in front of him, and he can vaguely make out her form approaching him. A moment later, he feels her boot on his chest, pushing him flat on his back against the ground. The groan her strength forces out of him is shameful, his head hitting the ground once more. Kylo struggles to keep his eyes open, but he succeeds long enough to watch as Rey stands above him, hand out as she uses her weight and her Force to keep him down.

“You may be bigger than me, Kylo Ren. You may best me in combat, or be able to use this connection to your advantage better than I. But do not, _ever,_ let yourself believe that you are stronger than me, because you are not. You are the Dark, but I am the Light, and because of that, you will never beat me.”

She disappears from his sight and Kylo takes sharp, rasping breaths. He coughs and tastes blood, each breath clicking, and knows that his ribs – at least some – have cracked. Pain overwhelms him and the stars above taunt him. They represent all the endless corners of the galaxy Rey could be hiding in, all of the planets that the Resistance could have made their home.

Kylo Ren ignores the pain long enough to cry out in frustration, a dark, guttural shriek that he knows Rey can hear. He holds it for several moments, trying to make her feel his anger as clearly as she hears his cry. It doesn’t take long before his throat becomes too raw to continue, and his voice cracks and gives out. For a minute longer, Kylo Ren stares at the stars. His eyes flutter closed, and he slips out of consciousness. 


	5. Chapter 5

They know that they’re not far from each other when they start to invade each other’s dreams. It’s a combination of right place and right time: somehow, they both fall into sleep and are close enough that their bond manifests without one pulling for the other. Their shared dreams are one of the rare times that each other’s presence is neither desired nor despised, and instead they simply coexist.

The dreams are quiet, the energy settled between them. It’s always the same: The Force reveals itself as a narrow river; its crests are glistening gold, but the water is clear otherwise. Ben sits on the river’s edge, the hem of his trousers pulled up to his knees, and Rey sits opposite him. They’re close enough to each other that if they were to reach out, their fingers could touch, but they never do. Instead, they sit in a calm quiet, sharing even breaths. Both of them revel in the Force, their bond allowing them to exchange feelings of comfort in its presence. The dreams are always the same, except for the time of day: some nights, _most nights,_ it’s the unknown-planet’s sun that hangs directly above them, casting shadows on their cheeks but warming their skin; others, it’s a moon, the air chilled.

Neither of them can pinpoint when they first started happening, the shared dreams. Neither of them dares to admit that the dreams are a welcomed reprieve from their war-trodden lives. Neither of them acknowledges that always, _always,_ the next morning, the calm of their encounters carries through the day.

Instead, despite every ounce of the Force pleading for them to do otherwise, they keep their dreams to themselves, not once bringing it up to each other. It’s a shared secret, one that they both know the other is in on, and it’s one that words don’t do justice.


	6. Chapter 6

He feels her before he sees her, her gaze locked on from behind him. Her arrival changes the air in the room, warping the Force around him, and Ben can feel the warmth of the Light on his back. His hands stop what they’re doing, and he presses them against the cold, tiled wall of the ‘fresher, waiting for her to acknowledge their connection as she normally does. The sound never comes though, so Ben pulls at her through the connection, trying to elicit her voice. He misses it, thinks about it often, and the desire to hear it overwhelms him as soon as he feels her in his room.

“Rey,” he warns, trying to keep his voice hard so as to not betray the sense of vulnerability he feels. He tries to dampen the undesired feelings of shame, trying equally hard not to think about the fact that she is _here_ , in his room again, and he is entirely exposed to her. Normally, when she comes to him like this, it’s because she’s strung up, emotions running high enough to remove the barriers of her mind. An emotional Rey is one that is not often silent, and Ben pretends that he’s not disappointed by her lack of response. It lasts only a moment longer, though, and even after her voice echoes out to him, he doesn’t move from his spot under the water.

“Ben.”

Finally, he feels her moving toward him, steps silent but still creating waves through the Force that might as well be sound. Still, Ben doesn’t move, his palms pressed against the wall in front of him. He remains motionless even as he feels her step into the water behind him, body so close that he can feel the heat of it behind him, even through the hot streams of water. Ben’s eyes slide shut, trying to imagine what she looks like behind him, whether she’s just as naked as he. He doesn’t dare turn around, though, and he’s not sure if the reluctance is for her benefit or his.

“Why are you here?” he asks, hoping it doesn’t come across as hostile. He’s not arguing against her presence, but he is definitely curious as to why she had picked _now,_ of all places and times.

Behind him, he can feel a hum in the Force. He closes his eyes and can see his own back, pale and scarred. He watches through Rey’s eyes as she raises her hand, fingertips hovering just above his skin. Her gaze stays on his body instead of hers so that he can’t gauge her nakedness, but with excitement he sees that her arm is free of its typical wrappings. The water beads on her skin and flows downward, and finally, _finally,_ she touches him. His eyes fly open at that, Ben unable to remain focused enough to see through her mind, and instead of his back, he’s faced with the black, shiny tile of the ‘fresher.

“To relax,” she says, her pause long enough that Ben’s all but forgotten what he’d asked her. He remembers and can’t help the sarcastic huff of a laugh that escapes his mind.

He presses his forearms against the tile, leaning forward, just to see if Rey follows. She does. Ben swallows and closes his eyes again, seeing nothing but darkness but feeling Rey’s emotions as strong as if they were his own. “So, you came to me for that? Surely you haven’t forgotten who I am?”

A tinge of annoyance presses against his mind and he exhales, long and slow. He may not understand why she came to him to relax, but he tries to help regardless. “I’m not here to feel your emotions,” she says, voice quiet. Her fingers are trailing across his skin now, and Rey must have her eyes closed, too, because the darkness doesn’t let up. “I’m here to feel my own.”

A sharp intake of breath is shared between them as her touch moves down his spine, the contact causing such a fluctuation in the Force shared between them that Ben can feel it throughout his body. Her touch flattens, palms moving up along his sides. There is no clear pattern to her movements, something that he both feels on his skin and through their connection, and instead she seems to be focused on exploring. Her palms, in some places, are dwarfed by the scars on his skin. Ben knows that there is a particularly gruesome mark covering his hip from his early days as a Padawan that hasn’t faded even fifteen years later. The nerves there are shot, pressure usually producing nothing but a soft tingle, but their shared Force makes him feel as if the injury had never occurred.

She pulls her hands away and the sudden lack of touch spurs Ben to turn around, finally setting his eyes on the vision behind him. His mouth goes dry when he realizes she is, indeed, bare just as he is. Her hair is down, something he had never seen on her before, plastered to her head and almost as dark as his in the water. Ben takes a moment to move his eyes across the planes of her body and he’s unable to help himself as he reaches out to touch. Again, he feels an uptick in their connection, but he doesn’t pull his hands away.

Rey’s eyes close and Ben’s almost sad for it, craving her gaze just as much as her touch or voice. He remembers her goal, to _relax,_ so he pushes the longing away and mimics her earlier movements, fingertips grazing along her skin as he tries to push the satisfaction he himself feels through their bond. It’s instantaneous: there’s a feeling that is shared between them, allowing the Force around them to settle in contentment. If he wasn’t aware before, he becomes acutely so that the universe is pushing them together, opening their minds to each other and reinforcing their touches. The woman in front of him is meant to be there, _really_ be there, sharing his space and his breath and his skin.

The girl steps forward and Ben instinctively steps back, but soon finds himself pressed against the tile behind him, unable to move any further away. For that, he’s unsure if he’s grateful or annoyed. Rey continues to crowd him in, and the ‘fresher, while perfectly acceptable for Ben on his own, proves to be restrictive for the two of them. Nevertheless, he decides to welcome the close proximity, reaching out to touch her again. His hand curls around her waist as hers reaches towards him. His eyes close in anticipation, but her touch never comes. When his eyes reopen, she has a sly smile on her face and a bar of washer in her hand.

“What are you doing?” he asks, voice low and gravelly. It comes out as not much more than a whisper as Ben worries that she’ll disappear if he does too much to disturb the Force around them.

Rey smiles again and reaches out to glide the wash bar across his chest. “Washing,” she whispers, turning her attention to her movements again. Ben sighs and lets his head fall back against the wall behind him, sinking into their connection. The bond is normally strumming, their appearances to each other fueled by intense emotions, but Ben feels nothing but the relaxation Rey had come to gain. He does everything he can to push that feeling toward her, trying to give her what she had come for so that she won’t leave him.

The bar runs across his chest, Rey taking particular care to wash the blood that had dried on his clavicle during his training earlier in the day. Ben lifts his head to watch her hand move, her other one coming up to rest on his shoulder. She stands on her toes, moving the bar up his chest and to his shoulder. Her reach causes her to stretch, breasts lifting and gaining his attention once more. The sight of her, reaching as if to cover his body with her own, is all it takes before the relaxation cracks and Ben feels nothing but intense desire for the woman in front of him. Rey must feel the change almost immediately because her eyes shoot up and meet his. A moment later, his hands are holding her jaw and he leans down to finally kiss her, feeling a second crack in the Force. The wash bar falls from Rey’s hand and onto the floor behind him, and just as soon as he had pressed their lips together, she disappears.

Ben should be used to this by now, Rey disappearing just as he wanted her there the most. He can’t help the angry snarl that crosses his face, the darkness consuming him at his loss. Turning to face the wall again, Ben – _Kylo –_ raises his fist and lands a blow, cracking the tile and the skin of his knuckles. He bends his head downward, watching as the water draining between his feet begins to tinge red with his blood. The water cascades down from the crown of his head causing his hair to stick to his forehead. He closes his eyes, desperate for any sign of Rey, and sees only a similar ‘fresher, tiles white and water clear.

The last of the relaxation leaves him and their connection falters. Its absence assures him that she’s felt his change from the man she wanted to see to the one that she didn’t. With another grunt of frustration, Kylo leans forward to turn the dial of the ‘fresher, the dial breaking off in his grasp as the water ceases.


	7. Chapter 7

Rey tells Ben everything, or at least, _almost_ everything. Their conversations stretch long into the nights, the two of them often lounging on their respective beds, content to share time and space. It’s all an illusion, of course, and neither of them dare disclose their true location to the other, their trust fragile and Force-dependent. She wishes she could tell Ben where he could find her, but she knows that Ben’s Light is still almost evenly matched by Kylo Ren’s Darkness.

“Your handwriting,” she marvels, peering over Ben’s forearm so that she can watch the way his hand glides the pen across the paper. “It’s beautiful.”

She can see the pen in his hand, but Ben promises her that there’s more to the set. “Come see,” he implores, sights set on her face, waiting for an opportunity to share her gaze. She relents, easily, eyes locking for a brief moment, the Force flowing between them. Reaching out to him, Rey’s eyes slide shut, and she releases a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. As her mind touches his, she’s unable to hold back the small smile that appears on her face. They share a rare moment of positivity, Rey’s happiness and Ben’s openness making their connection buzz within both of them.

Rey honours his request, settling her mind into his. It works, and Ben surveys his room for a brief moment – it’s always the same, always too-clean and too-dark for her tastes – before he looks back at the calligraphy set in front of him. He wasn’t lying about the set’s beauty, the wood meticulously maintained. Rey looks for a moment longer before bringing herself back, content to be opposite Ben instead of within him. “I’ve had it for years,” he says, and although Rey can’t see the ink pot, she watches as he dips the pen into it, resuming his writing. “It was from Alderaan. I think Leia had it from her own childhood.”

It’s not the first time that Ben’s spoken of his mother, unprompted. Rey’s interest is always piqued, yet she remains careful not to pry. “She gave it to you?”

He nods, not looking up at her. “When I left.” He pauses, Rey eager to hear more, but it never comes. Instead, he projects a memory onto her: she can see Leia, much younger than how she’d come to know her, expression soft. She’s holding a young Ben against her, his arms tight around the tops of her legs. He’s blubbering, vision blurry with tears, begging for her not to send him away. _“I’ll be good,”_ he pleads, voice high and frantic, _“I’ll be better. I’ll go with you to all your events, and… and…”_ He stops speaking when Leia’s hand comes to rest on the top of his head, pushing his long hair off of his face. A calmness that Rey now knows is Leia’s Force overcomes the young Ben Solo.

 _“You_ are _good,”_ she says to him. A small smile crosses her face. _“This is your destiny, my boy. The Force is too strong with you for me to deny you this time with your uncle. Don’t be afraid, Ben. I’m always with you.”_

The memory ends, and Rey feels an intense sorrow through their connection. Ben is no longer focused on the paper in front of him and instead is looking directly at her. “I haven’t thought of that in a while,” he confesses. Rey offers him a small smile and reaches out, touching his arm. The touch sends a surge of affection through their connection, and Rey decides then that as long as they’re both alive, she’ll continue to pull Ben Solo towards her.

They stay silent for a while. Rey watches as Ben turns his attention back to his paper, finishing whatever he’s been writing. He sets the pen down and it disappears from Rey’s view. His fingers work to fold the paper before he pushes it into Rey’s hands. She knows that it takes and intense concentration of emotion to pass items through their connection, but Ben’s urgency makes it look effortless. _For later,_ he pushes, and Rey nods, setting it aside on her bed.

Ben flops onto his bed and Rey follows, their shoulders touching. She can feel the Force that binds them, and she closes her eyes to settle in it. Ben can feel it, too, she senses, and a moment after that revelation he’s grasped onto her hand.

“Tell me what it would be like,” he asks, “if I were to come to you and turn away from this Darkness.”

The question makes Rey preen, hope for his redemption filling her consciousness. Ben feels it and squeezes her hand, reminding her to find her voice long enough to answer him. She clears her throat and squeezes just as tightly, their fingers interlacing easily. “It could be anything you wanted,” she says. It’s not specific enough for Ben, his mind pressing into hers, begging for more. Rey thinks and continues. “I’d like to go to Naboo. It’s where your grandmother was from, you know. Her and Anakin were married there.” She feels a weird sense of satisfaction from Ben at the reference to Anakin rather than Vader. “We could finish this war, once and for all, then disappear. Just us, to wherever we wanted to go. We wouldn’t have to share our lives with anyone but each other, for as long as we wanted.”

Rey stops but Ben stays silent. She projects her words to him in the form of images: a small home on the water’s edge, surrounded by greenery and backed by the planet’s waterfalls. She continues despite his silence. “The Force… it wants that for us, Ben. I saw it, and I know that you want it. I feel it, here, now. I feel the way that it makes you feel, you can’t hide that from me. And you can’t convince me otherwise, ever.”

Ben doesn’t object, instead electing to turn towards her. Rey relishes in the power that flows through their bond, especially as Ben reaches out to her. His arm wraps around her shoulders and she’s being pulled against him, his body just as warm and firm through their connection as it would be if he were really here with her. The feeling makes her long for him, for _Ben,_ in a way that’s new to her. She can’t hide it from him and doesn’t particularly want to, trying to show Ben that she means what she says.

“I _know_ that I want it, Rey,” he says finally, voice vibrating through his chest. She senses it like she senses the vibration of the Force. She feels the pressure of his lips on the top of her head and wishes that she could feel it elsewhere, too. Her eyes slide shut in an attempt to focus fully on being there in his arms. It’s the first time, but she hopes that it won’t be the last. His voice sounds again, pulling her from her thoughts and demanding her attention again. “I know it’s what I want. I can’t lie to you, but what do _you_ want, Rey?”

Her heart stutters as sadness leaks through once more. _This,_ she pushes, _I want this. I want this._ “I don’t know… I don’t know if I will always be able to give you this,” he answers her thoughts, “I wouldn’t be able to promise you that I would be able to keep my back to the Dark Side. Not forever.”

“I think you’re wrong,” she says, pulling back. He keeps his hold on her but allows enough distance so that she can reach up, pushing his hair back just as it had been done in his memory. Sadness, tinged with some other emotion that is not nearly as negative, flows out from him again, so Rey continues. “But, if I’m wrong, and you wouldn’t be able to resist… I’d promise you that I would always be there to pull you back to me.”

She knows why they’re cautious to speak in hypotheticals. Neither of them is able to make promises to each other, not now, when they’re light-years away from each other, nor are they ready to handle the disappointment of broken ones. The hypotheticals allow them to share their visions of the future between them, images of building a family and growing old together being passed from one mind to the other. Ben’s hold tightens as she projects an image of them holding a small boy between them, each of his hands in one of theirs. Tears spring to her eyes when Ben shows her a sweet picture of them sitting in the sunlight, hairs greying, and eyes lined.

It’s too much all of a sudden, certainly for Rey and maybe even for Ben, as is evidenced by sharp intake of breath and an immediate desire to push away from him. He doesn’t loosen his hold on her, even as she squirms, and Rey can feel the anxiety from him at the thought of her pulling away from him. She relents, and despite him still being there with her, she can no longer feel or see any part of his mind. It’s as if it’s gone entirely blank, and a moment later she realizes why.

He had tried to kiss her before. Once, in the shower, another back on Ahch-To. It had never worked before, their connections crackling and fizzling out before their lips ever had the chance to meet. Rey knows now is different, however, their skin flush against each other and their minds linked by a shared desire of a future together. Now is different, and for the first time, Ben kisses her and doesn’t disappear.

They kiss until they gasp for air. Anytime Ben pulls away, Rey’s struck by his lips, red and swollen. It solidifies the reality of their current situation and prompts her to pull his face down to hers, kissing him again and again. “Rey,” he whispers between kisses, repeating her name like a mantra. It keeps her grounded, maintains their connection so that they can continue to feel each other just as they wanted to.

“Ben,” she sighs, pulling away from him. She knows that he senses the change in the mood, the fervency of their kiss gone and replaced by a hallow sadness. It’s her own this time, a sadness that comes from the distance between them and the realization that what she and Ben want is not the only thing that matters. If it were, she would be with him as his Empress, or he would be here with her as her fellow Rebel. Instead, they share skin only through their improbable connection, not entirely understood but in that moment, wholly appreciated.

“I would try,” he says finally, Rey nestled in his arms again. “If I were to come to you, I would try. Every day. All day. As much effort as it demanded from me. I promise you; I would try.”

His voice is low but by now, Ben is unable to mask the emotions that exist beneath it. When their connection is this strong, this _real,_ Rey feels every emotion that he feels and knows every one of his thoughts. His words are true, Rey knows. By now, there are no more lies between them.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben’s in a state of partial undress when he feels her appear to him in his quarters. It’s late, later than she normally arrives, and there is a tension in the room that catches him off-guard and puts him on edge. He turns around, no longer ashamed or afraid for Rey to see him bare, and sees Rey sitting up on his bed, cheeks flushed, and knees pressed together. The bond thrums with pent-up energy, similar to the Force but not entirely explained by it, and Ben lets himself walk towards her to investigate.

He sits on the edge of his bed and reaches out without hesitation, Rey watching him with a hypervigilance that makes him nervous. Ben lets his hand rest on her ankle and that’s all it takes before the misplaced energy cements itself in their touch. Rey exhales, chest stuttering, and Ben… Ben realizes that he _knows_ this energy. He hasn’t felt it for a long while, not as genuine or as strong as it was now, but it’s undeniable once it’s realized.

“Oh, Rey,” he whispers, eyes flickering up to look into hers. He’s denied the pleasure as her eyes screw shut; lip caught between her teeth as she squirms. Ben is no longer nervous in Rey’s presence, not after what they’ve shared, but he always finds himself still unsure. Now, though, _Ben knows this._ He’s practiced with this, knows how to act and what to do, his usual uncertainty leaving his body and being replaced with a quiet confidence fueled by a strong desire.

Rey’s eyes open as Ben shifts onto his knees. He’s suddenly struck by an intense gratification, thankful that they had pushed each other to work on maintaining their bond and sharing the Force.

She lets him push her legs down, their extensive practice with the bond making the formerly difficult task of physical connection look easy. She also lets him climb over her, pressing his lips to hers without being asked or asking her. _He knows this,_ has thought about it every night since he’s known that Rey was more than just a woman that possessed his dreams. He knows what he wants to do, and he pushes it towards her mind as he kisses her, his Force unrelenting. Mouth occupied, Rey can only push back with a plead for Ben to make good on the promises he’s just made to her. It’s the only further confirmation he needs before the hand he’s not balancing his weight on touches the outside of her thigh. Ben feels the breath catch in Rey’s throat as she pulls away, holding his shoulders as if needing support.

They share a look and a brief smile before Ben moves his hand upwards and in, not hesitating before touching her between her legs. He feels the warmth of her core both in his hand and his own belly, her arousal overwhelming their connection. His hand moves further up until he’s able to dip it below the waistband of her trousers, searching again for her warmth. _“Ben,”_ she sighs again, simultaneously arching her back and laying further down the bed. He crowds her, his body half splayed over hers, and recaptures her lips with her own. The warmth of his hand is joined by a slickness as his fingers explore, Rey accidentally biting hard on his lip when he pushes one into her. It’s hard enough to draw blood and the sudden pain reminds him of the Dark Side that waits for him in moments of weakness. Rey must feel it, too, because her teeth release him just enough so that she can continue to kiss him. Her lips are slow and deliberate now, just as his fingers are – a second one joining the first – as she gently pulls his mind back into hers and into the Light.

 _He knows this,_ and Rey now knows it too: she’s squirming and alternating between bruising, demanding kisses and soft, languid touches of her tongue. Ben knows that she wants to give in to the carnal desire and holds on to tenderness only for his benefit, to keep him there with her as he was. He fights the Dark Side until it disappears from his mind, and only then does Rey begin to gasp, her nails digging deep crescents into his shoulders. Ben can’t help but stare as she comes undone beneath him. She’s gasping, hands wandering frantically, not sure where they wanted to settle. He welcomes her frenzied touch, a sure sign of his impending success.

“How long have you wanted this?” He asks. Rey tosses her head back and Ben takes the opportunity to press kisses along her neck. “Have you thought about it as much as I have?” Ben, overcome with desire, projects the memories of every time he had thought about having her beneath him – above him, beside him, in front of him, _wherever._

 _“Yes,”_ she gasps, but Ben shakes his head. To prove her point, she pushes her memory of their shared shower into his mind. It’s familiar to him, except there’s a distinct overtone of arousal he hadn’t realized she had felt.

“Impossible,” he says, lips kissing the shell of her ear, not believing what she was showing him. His hips are pressed firmly against her thigh, hand still moving beneath the cotton of her pants. “ _Impossible,_ Rey. I think about you…” he pauses to watch her twist beneath him, eyes opening. She reaches up to hold his head center, not willing to break their gaze. The intensity of it all – her eyes on him, their bond sizzling with arousal, the fantasies shared between them – causes his mouth to go dry. Rey must feel how close he is, his hardness impossible to ignore against her, because her hands drop from his face to the top of his pants, pushing them down fervently. It makes Ben groan, especially as one hand wraps around him, the other returning to his jaw to hold his face close. She kisses him and it brings him back, reminds him of the words he was trying to get out. With a sharp intake of breath, he continues, some words stretching out into passionate groans. “… I think about you all the time, Rey. I think about this.”

Rey’s nodding frantically, body thrumming. “Me too,” she assures him, images and memories of her touching herself, imaging him, passing from her mind to his. He groans and continues moving his fingers in and out of her, amazed that their connection is allowing him to feel her like this. His thumb moves across her warmth and she gasps and moans, her hand stuttering and grip tightening. Around his fingers, he feels her release, her orgasm pushing through their connection and overwhelming him. He thinks he hears himself say her name, he _must,_ because the next moment he’s there, too, spending himself in her hand.

They alternate breaths, Rey’s chest rising as his falls, as if to create a Force feedback loop between them. Ben’s pressed against her side, fingers still inside of her as they come down from it, the enormity of it hitting them both at the same time. The moment had come to them so naturally, their connection creating certainty where it might not usually exist. The comfort they share with each other is evident especially then, neither of them rushing to separate from the other as they both focus on keeping themselves together.

Ben eventually pulls his hand from under her clothes, but only so that he can hold her jaw as he leans down to kiss her again. The kiss is slow, calculated, and Ben tried to pour every one of his emotions into it, a sudden desire to be vulnerable emerging. “Everything, always,” she says as they part, feeling what he means for her to feel. Her words don’t make sense, and Ben inquires until Rey laughs. She takes another gulp of air, reaching up with her unsoiled hand to tangle fingers in his hair. “From you. I want it all, any time. Don’t hold back from me anymore. Look what we could have if you just let me in as much as I let you in.”

 _So, his intrusions were less of intrusions and more of welcomed visits_. He hadn’t known that she intentionally allowed him into her mind, but the knowledge hits him, and he feels affection and gratuity for her continued belief in him. “This is how it’s supposed to be,” is how he answers, not promising to obey her wishes, yet still acknowledging their validity. “You and I… this is how we’re supposed to be. For real.”  
Rey combs her fingers through the loose curls, pulling his lips against hers again. “This _is_ real,” she says, voice quiet. Ben can’t find it in him to disagree, and instead kisses her until she fades from beneath him.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo Ren stands opposite her, unmasked and lightsaber in hand. Her own – or rather, Luke’s – saber is clasped between her hands. The two of them circle each other as if engaged in a dance, and while Rey’s lips are pulled back in a sneer, Kylo’s are pulled into a grin. He rolls his wrist, slashing at empty air, and Rey hears the electricity as it burns ozone. Annoyed and tired of waiting for an opportunity, she stops walking and instead thrusts her weapon forward as she hopes to catch him off guard. She doesn’t, of course, and likely never will again, not with their minds so closely intertwined. Nevertheless, she puts a considerable amount of effort into her attack, partially to annoy her opponent, and partially just to keep her heart rate up and adrenaline pumping.

“C’mon, Rey,” he says, deflecting another swing. “You’re better than this. Try harder, keep going.”

Rey isn’t sure if his taunting encourages or maddens her, but either way, she swings again and again, wrists flexing with strain. Her frustration grows and as usual, Kylo’s expression changes as he, too, feels it. The Force pushes against her mind, and instead of stoking her anger, he works to dampen it, sending forth feelings of what Rey can only describe as pride. _Don’t default to the Darkness,_ he says in her mind, dodging another one of her blows, _That’s not you. Pull your power from somewhere else._ As is becoming usual, Rey reluctantly listens to him; she pulls instead from the Force that inhabits her, one that was much Lighter than before. She focuses on Kylo across from her, doing her best to anticipate his movements instead of planning her own.

The strategy works, and Rey somehow manages to strike at him first with her forehand before transferring her weapon to her left side, striking again before Kylo has the chance to dodge. She feels the pain of her singe at her side, and she uses the transferred sensation to judge when to steady her hand. _Maim, not kill,_ Kylo hisses in her mind. A small smile appears on her face as she switches the beam off – again, she’s obeying him – and, without thinking, she steps forward with her right foot, hand closed into a fist, and swings. Her knuckles and his jaw burns, both Rey and Kylo feeling them simultaneously, as they connect. It catches him entirely off-guard, and if she’s honest, Rey is almost as surprised as he.

Kylo’s eyes are wide as he drops his lightsaber, it turning off automatically, and he brings his empty hand to his jaw. They stare at each other for a long moment, as if in shock, but it’s Kylo that acts first: he removes his hand, looking down at the blood from his split lip, before looking back up at her. A wide grin spreads across his face, and Rey can feel the sting of the lip tearing farther apart. Darkness surrounds her, but it’s _prideful_ and borderline _envious,_ and she feels sinfully warm because of it.

“You _hit_ me,” he says, and Rey swears that she hears the brief huff of a laugh. She allows a smile to return to her own face as Kylo grinds his teeth and tries to fend off the pain.

Rey leans down and picks Kylo’s lightsaber off the ground, handing it to him. “Yeah, well,” she pauses, gnawing on her bottom lip, right where Kylo’s is cut, “You would have felt if I tried to use the Force against you, and you’re a much better soldier than I am.”

Now, she’s sure it’s a laugh that she hears from him, and she watches as he rolls his shoulders and flops to the ground, lying flat on the grass as he recovers from their workout. “You may say I’m a _supremely_ better soldier.”

 _Was that a joke?_ She asks him, mouth ajar in shock. Kylo looks over at her, an unusually amused smile on his lips; if Rey couldn’t feel the Dark energy radiating from him, she may have believed it was Ben Solo there with her and not Kylo Ren.

He sits up and rolls his eyes at her. “Don’t act so surprised,” his jovial disposition quietly leaking annoyance. It’s not _really_ annoyance, almost affectionate in its nature, and Rey needs to look away before she confuses Kylo and Ben. She reaches down for her canteen, and take multiple long gulps, due to equal parts thirst and a need for a distraction. It doesn’t work; he’s in her head, now, and Kylo is much pushier with their bond than Ben ever is.

Rey sits with her knees raised and ankles crossed. The canteen is still in her hand as her arms incircle her legs, and as she resigns to the fact that Kylo is there with her, she looks. He’s pulling at the knots of his tunic, working them undone as he huffs for breath – _for once,_ she projects as she takes another sip of water, _your age may be your downfall, Kylo Ren._ She earns a quick glare, his narrowed eyes betrayed by the faint smile on his lips. “Now who’s the jokester?” he asks, and Rey is happy to hear his voice as he taunts her.

The laugh escapes her before she knows it’s coming, and it catches Kylo’s attention, causing him to stare. His smile is gone but his eyes remain narrowed. She expects to feel anger – a default emotion for this side of him – but instead she feels _desire._ It’s strikingly similar to the way she feels with Ben, and briefly she wonders if desire is the middle ground for him. More importantly, guarding this thought behind her defenses, she wonders if his desire was how she would be able to finally bridge his two sides.

“Can we not have just _one_ encounter where you don’t think about Ben Solo?” he groans, apparently having a stronger hold on her thoughts than she anticipated.

Rey flushes, feeling his annoyance, and snaps before she can stop herself. “I don’t get a single moment without thinking of Ben Solo, so _don’t_ start.”

The confession emerges and Rey immediately feels shame. She turns her head downward, forehead resting of her knees, but she can feel Kylo’s eyes on her, nonetheless. _Honest?_ She hears in her head, and it sounds like Ben this time. The contrast causes her to raise her head and look at the man across from her, only to see that he’s already looking right at her. There’s nothing else to say – the confession had been direct enough – so she keeps quiet and doesn’t look away, hoping that he caves before she does.

Kylo – and despite the brief moment of his line blurring, it is definitely Kylo – does look away first, but only after pushing against her mind as if to remind her that it was in no way an act of submission. His voice breaks the silence, deep and calm, “Where in the galaxy is Rey tonight?”

“As if,” she sneers, but there’s no heat behind it. “I bet I know where you are. You’re on the Supremacy.”

Kylo smirks, shaking his head. “Wrong, actually.” _Try again,_ she hears in her head, although she’s not sure if she is recalling his previous instructions or hearing them from him once again.

“Coruscant,” she tries, hating that she is listening, again. _Try again_ – this time she’s sure it’s a repeated command. “Arkanis?” her voice is hopeful, but Kylo just shakes his head.

 _Tell me,_ she demands through their bond, but is nevertheless surprised that he listens. “Kuat, actually,” he says, sounded disinterested and unbothered by his admission. He doesn’t even bother looking at her as she speaks, instead looking out into the distance at who-knows-what, and it causes her to glower. “Diplomacy, or whatever. That, and –”

“The ships,” she cuts him off, her frown deepening. The information flows too easily for her comfort, and instantly the warm Force they shared goes cold as her eyes narrow. _I don’t trust you,_ she sends.

Kylo grins and turns his attention to her, shifting so that he’s sitting even closer to her; close enough that their toes touch through their bond. “You think I’m trying to throw you off, don’t you?” She stays silent. “Think what you’d like, girl. You may not be able to tell if I’m being honest, but you can’t lie to _me._ ”

It doesn’t bother her as much as she expected it to, and she knows it’s the truth. Kylo holds her gaze for a moment longer before a final grin and wink crosses his face and he’s gone.

A day later, Rey tells Leia that she’ll be back, jumping into a claimed First Order X-Wing, and sets a course for Kuat. She’s in hyperspace long enough that she sets it on autopilot and sets her head against the frosted window, the movement lulling her to sleep. The craft falls out of its path as it approaches the planet, and Rey’s dream shifts to the river, Ben across from her, sharing the Force between them.

When she gets back to the Resistance, she vows never to admit that she had gone just to see if Kylo Ren would lie to her. For whatever reason, he hadn’t.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben feels her struggle as clear as if it was his own, his heart hammering in his chest as he dispatches Palpatine’s security. She’s ahead, fighting him by herself, and the distance between them – although closing – makes him feel sick, their bond thrumming with pain and anxiety and, most of all, fear. His foes are the Knights of Ren, and as Ben works to strike each of them down, he feels an odd sort of satisfaction, as if his actions represented the death of their master as well as them. Kylo Ren was no more, and Ben fought to make his redemption worth something, hoping and praying that it didn’t come too late.

He can feel his mother’s spirit in him, and he knows that she’s now one with the Force. Leia pushes him forward, both her and his love for Rey assuring his continue. One by one, he kills his former devotees, taking long strides towards where he feels Rey pulling for him. _I’m coming, Rey,_ he says to her, slicing another Knight across his body from shoulder to hip. He struggles to hold on to their bond, but Palpatine’s presence warps the Force from one end of the planet to the next, and Ben can only push through a brief reassurance before it flickers and closes.

The air is thick with humidity that chokes him and the Force that squeezes him. He’s uncomfortable, a sense of dread hanging over him, but he continues until he’s there with Rey, and they’re fighting Palpatine together. It’s an odd change from the sparring matches they engage in through their bond, Ben used to training her instead of fighting alongside her. There is a sense of familiarity to it, though, and Ben thinks about how he killed Snoke for her, to keep Rey alive; he thinks about how they had worked back-to-back to strike down his squadron.

Being in her presence is intoxicating, and Ben wishes that he could take a moment to appreciate her and reacquaint himself with the curves of her body. It’s a foolish thought, but Rey feels it too and sends back, _I know,_ before turning back to their enemy. He tries not to think about the absurdity of the situation: this was her grandfather, his blood flowing through her veins and spurring her strength with the Force. Not even forty years earlier, it had been Ben’s own grandfather that had helped him solidify it.

Palpatine suspending them, pulling the Force out of their bond, is proof of the power Ben knew they shared. He always knew that they were meant to create life together, to build one piece-by-piece, but being used to heal the Sith Lord in front of them feels overwhelmingly wrong _._ Ben hears Rey’s cries of pain beside him and he struggles to turn his head towards her, eyes lidded, and he uses whatever remaining energy he has to push his thoughts into hers, _Stay with me, Rey. Don’t stop fighting. I’m here, we’re together. We’ll do this._ Tears streak down her cheeks as she cries out and Ben knows she hears him in his head; unfortunately, so does Palpatine.

“Even now, as I suck each of you dry, you fight,” Sidious says, yellow eyes glowing with power. His wrinkled mouth pulls back into a hideous grin, the laugh that emerges from him sounding more like wheezing. “My sweet granddaughter, you surely have found true love, haven’t you?

“And you, Ben Solo,” he says, turning to him. Ben tries to struggle against Palpatine’s Force grip, but not a single muscle obeys him. The cloaked Sith raises a hand and Ben floats toward him. “So much like your uncle, so unlike your grandfather. He had the opportunity to do what you’re doing now, you know. He also tried to save the woman he loved. Young Anakin Skywalker would have given his life for her. Would you do the same?”

Ben doesn’t have a chance to response before Palpatine raises his other hand, fingers sparking. He knows what’s coming and pushes again with everything to warn Rey, hoping that the Force is with them. His warning has no benefit and the Sith Lord shoots bolts of purple, Dark lightning at the girl beside him. Ben cries out, feeling the shocks as they ripple through her body, and their joint screams echo through the cave. She convulses with shocks and the sight of it is the last push of power that Ben needs to free himself of Palpatine’s hold. He falls hard on his knees, joints crying out with the sudden pressure, but within seconds he’s on his feet and using the Force to summon his lightsaber. It’s Luke’s that comes to him, the blue beam igniting as it enters his hold. The anger courses through him and with his free hand, he reaches out with his own Force, propelled by the spirits of his family and power gained through Rey.

Lightning shoots from his own hand, the power of it causing Ben to stumble back in shock. Still, he doesn’t let up and as his power reaches Palpatine, he hears Rey fall to the ground beside him, she, too released from his grasp. The lightning continues and Ben pushes forward, straining against the Force shield Palpatine has set up around himself. He can feel what’s left of Rey’s power pushed through their bond, the only assurance he has that she’s still with him.

Palpatine cries out with prolonged screams, the lightning gone by Ben’s Force still holding him in place on his throne. With the last of his energy, he swings Luke’s lightsaber down on the Sith’s shoulder, earning another cry of pain. It fuels him, and Ben uses whatever amount he needs to continue his assault and funnels the rest of it to Rey, hoping that it’s enough to keep her breathing while he fights. Up and down, he swings the weapon, maiming his enemy again and again. He feels the life Palpatine had stolen from them coming back to him and it’s only then that he slows his blows, feeling Rey’s warmth back in his mind. _Enough,_ she says to him, _it’s done. You’ve won, Ben._

Ben drops the saber immediately at the sensation of her Force. Whipping around, he shifts his attention from the dead emperor to the nearly-dead girl. He can feel her energy slipping in and out of his mind, along with his mother and father and uncle’s, reminding him of the actual goal. “I haven’t won if you’re not going to walk out of this with me,” he warns her, voice frantic as he drops to his knees. He pulls her into his arms, holding her against him, before pressing his lips to the shell of her ear. “Do you hear me, Rey? You have to stay with me. Promise me we’ll leave this together.”

He hears her whisper her name before she goes limp in his arms. Despite her Force leaving him, he feels as if every other source of it is being forced into his body all at once. Ben struggles to catch his breath as he feels his stomach drop and his heart squeeze. He _knew_ that it was too simple, that Palpatine had folded under his will too easily, and the feeling of a lifeless Rey in his arms makes him, selfishly, feel like none of it was worth it. He would allow thousands more to die at the hands of the Dark Side if it meant that Rey lived.

Ben hears what he hopes is the last of the Dark Side whispering to him, _Young Anakin Skywalker would have given his life for her. Would you do the same?_ His heart catches and all he can think is, _yes, anything. I’ll give anything to keep her in this world, with or without him._

There’s a web of scars stretching across her chest that resemble the lightning she had been struck with. They’re ugly, raised and red and it causes Ben’s eyes to burn with tears. Gently, as gentle as he can, Ben presses his palm to the clear epicentre of the burn, a round patch of flesh that’s dark and exposed to him. He feels the pain bloom in his own chest, but he welcomes it for no reason other than it tells him that her pain represents her life. The tears begin to fall freely as he focuses on the skin beneath his palm, working through what’s left of the Force as he stitches the flesh back together. He pushes and pushes, forcing more energy into her than he believes will stick, but he can’t stop himself. His restraint is gone and Kylo Ren threatens to re-emerge, even if only to save the woman both sides of him loved.

The Force doesn’t stop and Ben feels light-headed, suddenly aware that saving Rey could possibly kill him. He’s delirious but certain that this is it, this is how he’s supposed to die. He and Rey were _made_ for each other, and Ben is okay if his role is meant only to be there to bring her back. His acceptance all that’s left of him as the Force suddenly stops flowing, the universe apparently satisfied with his effort. Ben’s vision begins to blur, fading around the edges, but he fights to stay awake, begging that it wouldn’t be all in vain.

He no longer has enough strength to hold Rey against him any longer – at least not upright – and they slump together to the ground, Ben’s arms still wrapped around her. Breathing becomes much more strenuous in his new position, his movement a sign to the Force that he’s ready to go, as long as Rey stays. From within his grasp, he feels her jerk, chest rising vigorously as she gasps for the breath that had been ready to leave her all together.

 _Ben,_ he hears in his head, and Rey has managed to pull herself up, hand coming to hold his head straight. _Don’t… I’m here. I love you. Don’t die on me before we’ve had the chance to live._ He pushes with his mind, reassuring her as much as he can. Rey’s declaration of love filters through their connection, her pushing _love_ and _please_ and _don’t leave me_ while he reciprocates, _I know. I love you, too. I’d make the same choice in every one of our lives. This is how it’s meant to be. I love you._ It’s all he can muster, and now, even keeping his eyes open demands too much effort. He closes them and slips out of consciousness just as Ben feels Rey’s lips press against his. He’s out before he feels her collapse alongside him, the shock of it coming down on her at once.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey can remember a time before she understood the connection shared with her counterpart but prefers not to. She has no desire to experience a world where Ben Solo isn’t always with her, always within reach and open to her thoughts. Thankfully, as she awakens, her eyes still closed, she can feel him. He’s _there, alive,_ although his Force is weak. It’s enough, though, that she cries out – whether in the pain from her persisting injuries, or in relief, she’s not sure – loud enough that a troop of medics rush into her room. They push something into her body, and she realizes that it’s a sedative, closing her off from the person she needed more than anything. Tears spring to her eyes, the exhaustion and lack of energy causing her emotions to run haywire.

“Ben,” she gasps out, grabbing hold of one medic’s wrist. The woman looks alarmed, eyes wide, and pulls her hand out of Rey’s grasp. “Please, _Ben._ ” They push another vial of whatever drug they had already used, and within a minute, she’s out again. It’s welcomed, though, because this time, her feet are dangling in their river and Ben’s across from her, hair disheveled but smile wide. Desperate, Rey reaches towards him, the first time they’ve dared to touch in this dream, and Ben takes her hand, waking her out of it.

This time, she feels calm upon awakening, and when she opens her eyes, Ben’s sitting at her bedside. His head is turned away from her, but his hand keeps hers covered even in sleep. The Force is humming in the back of her mind, their proximity and the lack of conflict within the galaxy allowing it to step back, no longer the most important part of her. _Their job is done,_ she thinks, tears of relief springing to her eyes, _this is it._

Ben must feel the change in the room, because he’s springing up to sit on the edge of her cot, and only then does Rey notice that the hand not holding hers is cuffed to her bed. First, he reaches out to push her hair back, but he follows her gaze to the restraints and smiles, soothing her through their bond. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried,” he says, voice raw.

“Was that a joke?” she asks, and this feels familiar – they’ve done this banter, back when the war was raging, and it was Rey and Kylo. It’s no surprise that it comes easier, now, their connection lulled.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he says to her. The exchange is kind, reassuring, but the restraints trouble her, nonetheless. “Stop worrying,” he says, calm and quiet, continuing to stroke her hair. “Not everyone has been there to see me come back.”

 _Come back to the Light,_ she finishes for him.

 _Exactly,_ he responds, a small smile crossing his lips.

The trial comes quick, the government still fragile and new, unsure of what to do with him. Rey knows that if they were smart, they’d make an example of Ben, but she argues with Poe for mercy. “It wasn’t him,” she says, frustrated. Poe has his hands on his desk, a frown on his face. “First… it was Snoke –”

“What about when you two killed him?”

“Ben killed him, not me,” he corrects, “And _kriff,_ Poe, then it was Palpatine. You do understand that, right? All along. It was the most powerful Sith Lord this universe has ever seen. How can you blame him for that? _How_ –”

Poe raises his hand, and Rey obediently shuts her mouth. She knows her friend and hopes he still trusts her, _hopes_ that he’ll show Ben mercy. When Rey’s been silent for a period long enough for Poe to believe she won’t interrupt, he continues: “Of course, I understand that, Rey. I was _there._ It wasn’t just you and Kylo Ren there –”

“ _Ben Solo,_ ” she snaps, and Poe sighs.

“—it wasn’t just you and _Ben Solo_ there, Rey. We all were, and I _know_ that you believe that it was Palpatine all along. It doesn’t necessarily excuse him, though. He killed _thousands._ ”

Ben must be there with her, sneaking into her open mind to hear their conversation, because she feels an immediate surge of _guilt_ and _regret_ and, worst of all, _resignation._ It breaks her heart, so she doubles down, trying to convey the severity of the situation. “I know, Poe. I do. I’ve had to come to terms with this. Do you know how it felt, being in love with someone who had done such terrible things?” He doesn’t answer, but Rey knows that he can’t possibly understand. The presence in her mind howls in pain and she tries her best to soothe him. She wishes he wasn’t there, hearing this, but she understands that he needs to process the situation, too, and there weren’t exactly people lining up to console him. He needs this, and Rey doesn’t think she can _ever_ block him from her mind again, so she lets him stay and listen.

Finally, she sighs, collapsing into the chair across from the interim General. “I know, Poe. I know. And I’ll stand up in front of the Senate to plead his case. There’s no one else that understands what’s happened like me. It’s him and I, no one else.

“He killed Palpatine,” she says, and it comes out sounding pathetic and defeated. “He saved me, _all_ of us. That has to count for something.”

It does, eventually, end up counting for something. There isn’t much of a Senate to plead to, but Poe makes an impassioned speech on their behalf. Rey, him, and Ben stand in one pod, Ben shackled at the wrists. She can sense his unease and hear his doubts. Tossing a look behind her, she manages a small smile. _The Force hasn’t stopped us yet, Ben. Have faith._ The bond quiets but she feels his mind push into hers, so she lets him in and hopes that their connection will calm him.

There’s no longer any central authority to make decisions – Ben, technically, had been the last – so the Senate votes, Ben barely earning a majority. They sentence him to galactic monitoring by way of a subdermal implant; there are no restrictions on places that he can go, but Rey feels a brief flicker of disappointment. She and him had worked for so long towards freedom, and Rey hates that it’s at all marred Ben’s past as Kylo Ren. Their discontent passes as quick as it had appeared, and instead Ben floods their bond with _thank you_ s and _I love you_ s. They read the rest of the verdict but neither Ben nor Rey hear anything after they Senate agrees that imprisonment won’t be necessary.

The sentencing finishes and Poe pulls Ben along, both him and Rey moving along as if in a daze. _I love you, I love you,_ he repeats, looking over at her in awe. _You did this. You made this happen. I love you._ It’s persistent and Rey pushes it back just as strong as he had pushed it towards her. _I love you._ Poe leads them through the corridors of the old Republic base, Rey devotedly following along, until they reach the MedBay where the two of them had recovered only days earlier. The procedure is nothing more than an injection into his forearm, and a moment later, Poe pulls the key to Ben’s restraints out of his pocket.

The two men share a meaningful look that feels to Rey as if it lasts hours, but in reality, it can’t have lasted longer than a few seconds. Poe sighs and turns his attention back to his task at hand and after a quick turn, the cuffs pop off with a quiet hiss. Poe takes a step back and Ben stands from his place on the cot, experimentally flexing his fingers.

Poe leaves them alone in the room, finally, and the two of them don’t quite know what to do with the privacy. A part of Ben – a _large_ part of him – can’t believe that this is it, that the last twenty years of his life has culminated into this. He’s gone from the Light to the Dark and back again, ordered thousands to die, but protected thousands more in his path to redemption. They’ve discovered, nurtured, and used their bond in every way they could, and now, finally standing in front of each other, it all hits them.

Rey launches herself forward, Ben catching her by the waist and immediately leaning down to press his lips against hers. It’s their first _proper_ kiss, not simulated through their bond nor rushed while on the brinks of death, and Ben feels like he could fly. The Force between them is strong, and it takes only a moment longer to realize that _literally,_ they’re flying. Their languid kisses hold them in suspension several feet off the ground but neither of them can bring themselves to stop. Only when Rey pulls away to wrap her arms around his neck do they slowly float downwards, Ben holding her against him as his feet touch down first. They stay like that, exchanging thoughts and feelings and touches that they each feel on either side of the bond, and finally, it’s enough.


	12. Chapter 12

“Where in the galaxy is Rey tonight?”

The voice cuts through the still of the night and Rey feels a smile grow on her face. Hands slither around her waist and she pushes their now-shared weight further against the stone barrier that separates their terrace from the lake. “With you,” she says, and Ben rests his chin on her shoulder, turning his head inward so he can pepper kisses on her neck.

“Mm,” he hums, their bond responding similarly. “Yes, you are.”

Rey thinks about the moments that they had shared through their bond, before she realized that his redemption might actually happen. She always believed that it could, deep down, but even upon those last moments in the cave, she never let herself believe that it would. She thinks about them laying on their beds, shoulder to shoulder and hand-in-hand. She remembers how scared and unsure Ben had sounded when he had asked her to tell him how it might be, if they were ever given the opportunity to live their lives as they pleased.

They made good on their plans to go to Naboo. The Queen had welcomed them, but both Ben and Rey had sensed the disturbance in the Force that represented anger. Ben had bowed his hand, kissed her ring, and asked for both clemency and concession. “No apology will excuse what I’ve done, my Queen,” his voice shook – not a common occurence, Rey had noted – “And I will never try to convince you otherwise. I acknowledge my crimes and admit my fault to you now, as I will with every person in this galaxy who I’ve hurt either directly or indirectly.

“I promise you, I will spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to those around me. And expressing my gratitude for the mercy I’ve been shown. I know that I was unable to show that same grace when I was the one at the helm.” He added the second part as an afterthought, and despite his morbid words, Rey couldn’t help the warmth that had spread through her. The man on his knees, begging for forgiveness, was all Ben Solo, the last of Kylo Ren having died alongside Darth Sidious.

“You lie,” the Queen had responded, and Rey had felt herself go cold with distress. Ben had felt similarly, his head raising as he looked upon Naboo’s queen with frightened, wide eyes. _We knew that not everybody would accept this,_ Ben had said to her, feeling her anxiety, _It’s okay, Rey. There is a whole galaxy out there that we can hide in._ She hadn’t _wanted_ to hide, though, and although the Queen had every right to deny his requests, Rey hadn’t thought that it would come to this. The throne room’s occupants had begun to murmur but were silenced with a raise of the Queen’s hand, signifying that she was about to continue. “You will spend the rest of your days making it up to yourself, and the woman who, somehow, continues to stand behind you.”

“I don’t understand it, either,” he had said, voice steady that time around. The Queen, renowned for her stoicism just as the Queens before her, had let a small smile appear, the sight of it causing Rey’s heart to race. _We’re not hiding,_ she had said to him. The Queen continued, not acknowledging Ben’s admission beyond that smile, and spoke of Padme, the Queen that had come many women before her. She had expressed her hope that the late Queen and Senator would have felt the same way before waving the two of them off.

“I’ll allow you to live here, mostly because the Senate – the _true_ representatives of this galaxy, not like your former First Order – has already expressed that you are to be trusted. Do not take advantage of my compassion, Ben Solo, and make no mistake, it is not unconditional.”

Naboo had been what they had decided on long before Ben knew that this could be possible, and the Queen’s blessing had cemented their intent to stay here; to _grow_ here. As a welcome gift, the Queen has one of her staff take them to Varykino. _“It’s what your grandmother would have wanted, Ben Solo,”_ she had said to them, _“Continue on the path that she wished for you.”_

They married immediately, Ben pleading with her, _“I’ve been waiting to marry you your entire life, Rey. Please don’t make me wait any longer.”_ She wears a dress of blue and Ben wears brown, both of them smiling so wide they can feel each other’s faces hurt. It had taken less than a week after their married for them to settle within the Palace’s walls, the two of them eager to enjoy each other without worrying about being found out; a year before they settled into each other fully. Sometime between meeting Naboo’s other inhabitants, meditating together, and learning each other’s bodies, they create a life.

Ben cries when Rey tells him, dropping to his knees and pressing his forehead against the taught skin of her stomach. Rey feels his disbelief, unable to accept that this was his life now, even this many months later. _You chose this,_ she says to him, pushing his hair back, _you made this life for yourself._ Ben shakes his hand and sobs into her stomach until she kneels beside him, wrapping him up in her arms. He feels grief so strong it makes Rey sick; she pushes back with the entirety of her Force, surprising both of them when they sense their child amongst it.

The way they stand now, Ben holding her back against his front, hands flat on the swell of her belly, Rey can’t imagine a time without him. She figures that it’s because she had never _really_ gone without him, never had to wait a decade just to feel his soul like he had with her. Some moments, she’s brought back to the moment in Palpatine’s cave, Ben lifeless in her arms just moments after pouring his entire being through their bond, desperate to save her. The memory appears at her happiest moments, acting as a reminder of just how close she had been from losing Ben to the Dark Side. Ben’s always there to feel the shift, though, and he always pulls her into him, reminding her that he’s there to stay. _We have a whole life ahead of us,_ he says into her mind, _you and I._

 _And our child,_ she says back, feeling the surge of affection and excitement that comes from her husband. He kisses her with a smile on his face, pouring himself into her to overwhelm the memories and sadness. Their bond hums, and Rey understands that their connection was millennia in the making. Raising her arms to deepen their embrace, Rey thanks the stars and the Force that exists amongst them for giving her Ben. 


End file.
